Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable

Posted: January 30, 2013 by JonoShmono "SykOse. Live. Extreme." in Bike, Road cycling
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

The secret word is “novelty cycling jersey,” (AHHHH!) and it’s inspired by this incredible PeeWee Herman bike riding outfit that is amazing in that it simply exists. You know what else is great? The vast amount of ridiculously nerdy pop culture-inspired suits available on the ol’ world wide web.


Spidey sense tingling? Nope. That’s just a side effect of riding a bike all the time. The same company behind the PeeWee jersey, Podium, also has a Spidermansuit.

Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable

You’ll easily pick out the bike riding nerds, because they’ll be the ones in the coordinated Star Trek Uniform.

Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable

You don’t need PEDs, because you can actually just have a Superman suit that you wear on your bike. JK, it’s not going to make a difference, but go ahead and raise that comic book enthusiast banner, baby.

Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable

Sleighs are over. Next year, Santa rocks a Schwinn.

Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable

Haha! Are you a Speed Racer fan? Haha! Cycling has not forgotten you.

Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable

If you rock this America jersey, you are contractually obligated to get a sponsorship from Budweiser, outfit your bike with sparklers and bottle rockets, and have an electric guitar symphony follow you at all times. Support our troops. 9/11, never forget. Land of the Free.

Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable

Speaking of obligations, if you see someone wearing this Hipster get up, you are required to throw a big stick in front of their bike, douse them in lighter fluid and burn everything.

Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable

It starts to get kind of weird with the creepy cycling leisure suit, an outfit choice usually reserved for bowling alleys and sad disco clubs.

Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable

All of these are WAY better than what weekend cyclists usually wear – jerseys totally plastered with corporate logos. I know they’re trying to look like their heroes, but wearing sponsor logos is completely absurd and ridiculous if you don’t, you know, actually have a sponsorship. I really don’t understand why people do that and think it’s somehow normal or cool.

 

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Comments
  1. Wally on a bike says:

    Completely agree that the average rider shouldn’t be out wearing sponsors clothing, unless they actually have a sponsor. Although some of the kit , does look quite funky.

    To see someone out riding in the “Rainbow Jersey”or “Maillot Jaune”is totally absurd, the privilege to wear that should be kept only for those who have earned the right to wear them.

    Hero worshipping, is a completely natural and understandable thing , and what brings the new crop through in any sport, all of this is done through inspiration from the best in the world.

    But if I had it my way, I would definitely wear the funky looking/ sponsor free clothing shown above.

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